Unlocking Self-Awareness Through Humor: An Executive Q&A with Elizabeth Power

We all face moments of discomfort, stress, and the urge to escape difficult feelings. Often, this unease traps us in unproductive patterns, causing us to behave badly, withdraw, or lean on temporary comforts. In Buddhist tradition, this reflexive pull is called shenpa—the hook that keeps us stuck. Navigating these hooks usually feels heavy and exhausting, but confronting our flaws does not always require strict seriousness. Sometimes, the most effective way to break a negative cycle is to simply laugh at it.

Elizabeth Power, M.Ed., founder of EPower and Associates, Inc. and The Trauma Informed Academy, understands the mechanics of change, overwhelming experiences, and resilience. Her consultancy helps organizations and individuals navigate complex transitions, build trauma-responsive emotional intelligence, and improve daily processes. Now, Power has co-authored a new book, The Little Book of Shenpa: Finding the Funny in Being Hooked, which uses humor to dismantle our defensive walls. In this interview, we discuss the power of laughter, the concept of being “hooked,” and how her unique approach helps people achieve genuine self-awareness.

Q: In your new book, you explore the concept of “shenpa.” How do you define this term for someone completely unfamiliar with it, and why is it so central to our daily behavior?

Elizabeth Power: For me, it feels kind of like putting a pullover shirt on backwards that I can’t take off, or an itch I can’t reach, scratch or satisfy–when I am standing on a stage giving a keynote!  If I could just find a choice that makes it go away in the moment I’d be happier.

Q: You and your co-author, Gail Kaplan, use humor to tackle a topic that usually feels heavy. Why is laughter a more effective tool for self-awareness than strict seriousness?

Elizabeth Power: It’s so easy to get stuck in embarrassment or even shame when shenpa pops up. There are so many “shoulds” in life. The need to control our circumstances so we don’t feel discomfort, our stuff doesn’t get challenged, and we can feel powerful is central in life. When we don’t? When suddenly we are exposed and feel out of control or powerless because of discomfort? Instead of adding to the load with distress and increasing the discomfort–the shenpa–being able to smile and giggle a little is lots more productive. It disarms shame, which feels to me like shenpa’s extended relative.

Q: The book introduces invented words like “shenpaholic” and “shenpafam.” How does naming these behaviors in a lighthearted, highly specific way help people actually change their habits?

Elizabeth Power: Well, when you remove the embarrassment or shame it’s a lot easier to see a different way.  You can at least shift from anger or distress to bland amusement. It’s a lot easier to say to yourself, “Oh, there I go again… I can see that this is a competition for whose worst is the worst!” and choose if you really want to hang out with that, or engage in it, or excuse yourself. It creates room to apply a different lens that’s less about taking things personally and more about our human foibles. 

Q: Your Southern storytelling background pairs with Gail’s Northeastern wit throughout the text. How did this collaborative, cross-country dynamic shape the way you approach emotional challenges?

Elizabeth Power: That’s a great question, and I can speak for my side of the table. We come from two different worlds where there’s some overlap. Gail’s extensive education in clinical processes compartmentalizes one way and my work compartmentalizes another, in all likelihood.  Just today I was talking with someone who said “the same thing happens in my life over and over again no matter how hard I work to change it.” In the clinical world–not necessarily Gail’s–that would be called “traumatic reenactment,” or “stuck,” or maybe be labeled some form of fixation. In my world, it looks like the person might be missing how each time they respond a little differently. I mean, athletes compete and afterwards they review tapes of how they played. The next game? They do something a little differently. No testing of new and different ways of being? No growth. This is especially a hard concept for survivors of sexual abuse who statistically are much more likely to experience sexual assault or abuse later in life. How do you position it when it happens again so you don’t feel like a failure or a victim? So framing and perspective might (or might not) be different between us. The collaboration enriches us both.

Q: At EPower and Associates, Inc., you focus heavily on resilience and trauma-responsive emotional intelligence. How do the lessons from your book translate to the corporate consulting and change management work you do?

Elizabeth Power: There are two sides to this (maybe more). How organizations respond to shenpa–which is often the early sign of  “quiet cracking” in organizations–drives their culture. Toxic cultures thrive on embarrassment, shame, and pain as drivers as if these somehow provoke behavior that helps the organization meet its goals. Fear runs through a lot of cultures right now. Staff (from the C suite down and across) whose worlds teach them to take things personally, or to quickly shut down anything that’s uncomfortable, cripple the work. Finding common ground between expectations and reality without creating toxicity is the dance of the day.  Assessing the level of “quiet cracking,” and helping folks become “unbreakably alive” is critical, especially in situations like family offices, entrepreneurial settings, and the SMB that are the engine of economic growth. 

Q: What is the single most important mindset shift you hope readers achieve after recognizing their own “hooks” for the first time?

Elizabeth Power: It’s OK to lighten up and laugh at yourself a little, and sometimes it’s the best reliever of the discomfort that comes with this messy life we all have. When you can have something harmlessly silly that you carry inside (like words that start with shenpa), that something becomes an internal ally that helps you smooth your own way. 

Q: Will there be more Little Books of Shenpa that relate to specific situations?

Elizabeth Power: It would be lovely to become the “Chicken Soup” series of wordplay and humor–and yes, Gail and I separately and together see more books coming. I’m finishing up The Little Book of Shenpa for Business and working on another one for healthcare. They all connect to our work helping individuals and organizations go from “quiet cracking” to “unbreakably alive.” 

This conversation highlights a profound truth: personal growth does not have to be a punishing process. By identifying our behavioral hooks and confronting them with humor, we lower our natural defenses. Laughter creates the psychological safety needed to reflect honestly, making it easier to break old patterns and build stronger, more resilient habits in our daily lives.

As individuals and organizations continue to face high stress and rapid change, developing trauma-responsive emotional intelligence will only become more critical. Embracing a lighter, more authentic approach to our flaws offers a sustainable path forward. Through her book and the comprehensive consulting services at EPower and Associates, Inc. Elizabeth Power, M.Ed.  provides the exact tools needed to turn everyday discomfort into an opportunity for lasting growth.

To learn more visit https://epowerandassociates.com/