Limor Weinstein: Giving Hope with Her Groundbreaking Bespoke Wellness Partners
Finding solutions for young people experiencing everyday stresses as well as eating disorders is a family affair at Bespoke Wellness Partners, a comprehensive center founded by licensed psychotherapist and eating disorder specialist Limor Weinstein. With licensed therapists, plus music therapists, yoga instructors and even a dance and arts therapist, the Upper East Side based Bespoke is breaking new ground and alleviating stigmas surrounding mental health issues. March might be Eating Disorder Month, but Limor knows that disorders can continue both mentally and physically throughout one’s life – she also knows that there is hope, and is trying to bring that hope back with Bespoke.
“Working with eating disorder clients, specifically teenagers for the past 15 years, I realized there wasn’t one centralized place that was both warm and collaborative that uses evidence-based techniques,” explains Limor, a leading expert in the field. “There was nothing to accommodate the whole family. Here, we have a medical doctor on staff, and have expanded to eight therapists and dieticians. I’m not sure if there is anything else like this.” Having been born and raised in Israel, Limor, who served in the Israeli army and even lived on a kibbutz for a time, has also dealt with her own traumas throughout her life.
“I had anorexia at 14 and was sick until I was 24. I was binging, purging and was addicted to laxatives. We had no money, my father was in jail, and I was living on a kibbutz with a foster family at the age of 12 after being separated from my family. When I was 21, I moved to the US and found myself in another unhealthy relationship. I thought I was dying at one point and even wrote down 100 pages that were almost like my suicide letter. It turned out to be the beginning of the memoir that I’ve been writing now for over 20 years. It’s almost like giving birth to a fourth child.”
Limor, who is a mother of three girls aged 12, 14, and 17 and is able to use her own experiences to relate to her patients, knew that if she built a place where families felt welcome and could be a part of the process, they would come. Since opening – just days before a pandemic, that is – they have come, and mostly by word of mouth. “There is no community when it comes to therapy. You just come in and get out. Our whole collaborative approach is uniquely community based.”
This dedicated therapist who holds a Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University as well as a second Master’s in Mental Health Counseling from the City University of New York, also developed the KARMA Method. This structured five-step program serves as the signature coaching method of Bespoke Wellness Partners. Depending on where you are in your life, you might start to question the meaning of your existence and what are you doing, and KARMA attempts to make you understand your core beliefs. According to Limor, her therapies can help to control and reframe your thoughts if practiced for 12 to 36 weeks. “I love working with younger kids. It’s so nice to see how after experiencing negative thoughts about feeling ugly or fat or stupid for years, they are able to fell feel better after realizing that what we tell ourselves affects our behaviors.”
Limor, who is able to use her own personal path as well as professional training to guide others on their wellness journey, is also passionate about helping as many patients as possible. She currently trains people to use her method so that they can teach others. Just as important as the therapies they provide is the support felt by the family. That’s why at Bespoke, treatment proposals are based on a family’s specific needs, and patients are encouraged to bring their families or even partake in group therapies. “Group therapy allows people to feel like they are no longer alone. It’s helpful for people to see others who are experiencing the same feelings of loneliness. So many of these kids feel isolated and just so much shame. Parents often call to say they feel like they are such bad parents because they don’t know what to do. These parents are also under a lot of stress so they shouldn’t feel bad. I teach parents to validate their kids through active listening and being able to connect to the child. It’s not about agreeing with them but rather to explain that they understand or acknowledge their feelings.”
She also says that social media can have both positive and negative sides. “Instagram can make it look like everyone has a perfect life free of any problems. Young girls are feeling the need to be skinny and exercise. Watching TikTok is like keeping up with the Joneses. There are, however, also great role models out there who are using TikTok to talk about their eating disorders and what you can do about it, so in this sense it has become a great educational tool.”
As March is Eating Disorder Month, Limor lists some red flags for parents to watch out for. “Pay attention to a kid who has lost 30 or 40 pounds or any change of behavior. If a child is withdrawn or angry or irritated or gains weight, or if he loses weight or can’t sleep, don’t wait until things get really, really bad. If something is going on with the parents, such as financial stress, that affects the kids, so be aware of where you are mentally and physically as well. There is so much social pressure these days so if you’re not sure what’s going on, take them to the doctor and keep an eye on them. When googling eating disorders everything is so negative, but recovery is possible.”
As the president of the New York Mental Health Counselors Association Metro Chapter and past co-chair of the International Academy of Eating Disorders, this forward-thinking therapist is now involved in policy change with a goal to get her therapeutic program incorporated as part of a life skills class in schools. The program is currently being piloted in 40 schools Israel, and this is just the beginning. After all, mental health should be prioritized as much as math! Through her own life lessons, Limor has learned to help others and is able to keep her own mind calm by traveling, spending time with friends, working out and just learning to be alone and doing meditation reading.
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