How to Write an Obituary That Truly Honors a Life: Step-by-Step Guide

Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful ways to honor someone’s life and legacy. It gives family, friends, and communities the chance to reflect on a person’s story and share in their memory. Yet, for many people, writing an obituary can feel overwhelming, especially while grieving. Whether you are preparing a notice for a newspaper, funeral program, or online memorial, this step-by-step guide will help you create an obituary that celebrates your loved one with sincerity, warmth, and respect. If you’re looking for practical guidance or obituary help, you’re in the right place.

Step 1: Start with the Basic Information

Every obituary begins with essential details that identify the person being remembered. Start with their full name, age, and place of residence at the time of passing. Include their date of birth and date of death. You may also note where they passed away if you wish to share that. This information sets the foundation for the story you’re about to tell.
For example:
“Mary Ellen Johnson, 78, of Phoenix, Arizona, passed away peacefully on October 12, 2025.”
You can then follow with a sentence or two about the circumstances, if appropriate, such as “surrounded by her family” or “after a long and courageous battle with illness.”

Step 2: Write a Compelling Biographical Sketch

Once the basic facts are in place, expand on your loved one’s life story. Think of this as a short biography rather than a resume. Start from their early life: where they were born, their parents’ names, and any siblings. Mention key milestones such as education, marriage, career achievements, and personal passions.
Instead of listing these facts mechanically, write them in a narrative style that paints a picture of who they were. For instance, instead of saying, “He worked as a teacher for 30 years,” try “He dedicated three decades to teaching high school history, inspiring generations of students with his love for learning.”
This section is where you can really showcase personality. Were they adventurous, compassionate, creative, or witty? Include anecdotes or qualities that made them special. The goal is to let readers see and feel the person’s essence.

Step 3: Include Family Details

An obituary traditionally names the family members who survive the deceased and those who preceded them in death. This helps honor the connections that defined their life.
Typically, this section follows a standard structure:
“Mary is survived by her husband, John; her daughters, Lisa and Rebecca; her son, Michael; and her five grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her parents, Robert and Margaret, and her sister, Anne.”
Be careful with punctuation and consistency, especially when listing multiple relatives. It’s also fine to include chosen family or close friends who were like family. In modern obituaries, many people choose to highlight relationships that reflect love and authenticity over strict formality.

Step 4: Add Personal Touches That Bring the Story to Life

While the factual details are important, the emotional heart of an obituary lies in the personal touches. Consider including favorite hobbies, special accomplishments, or even quirks that made your loved one unique.
For example:
“She was known for her incredible homemade bread, her garden full of sunflowers, and her infectious laugh that could light up any room.”
These small, vivid details make an obituary more than an announcement. They create a lasting image in the reader’s mind, helping everyone remember your loved one as they truly were.

Step 5: Acknowledge Community and Contributions

Many people find it meaningful to include a section recognizing the deceased’s involvement in their community, faith, or volunteer work. Did they belong to a local church, charity, or club? Were they passionate about causes such as animal rescue, veterans’ support, or the arts? Including these details not only honors their values but can inspire others to continue their legacy.
If appropriate, you can also note any awards, recognitions, or special roles that highlight their impact.

Step 6: Provide Funeral or Memorial Details

After celebrating a life, the obituary should give readers the information they need to pay their respects. Include the date, time, and location of any funeral, visitation, or memorial service. Be sure to specify whether the event is public or private.
For example:
“A celebration of life will be held at Grace Lutheran Church on Saturday, October 18, at 2 p.m. Friends and family are welcome.”
If services are postponed or private, you can mention that arrangements will be announced later or that the family will gather privately.

Step 7: Offer an Option for Donations or Flowers

Instead of or in addition to flowers, many families request donations to a meaningful cause. This provides a positive way for others to honor the deceased’s memory.
You might write something like:
“In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the American Cancer Society or the local animal shelter, causes close to her heart.”
Be sure to include full organization names and, if possible, website links or mailing addresses.

Step 8: Review for Accuracy and Tone

Before submitting the obituary, take time to carefully review it. Check for spelling and grammatical errors, correct dates, and consistent naming. Have another family member or friend proofread it to ensure accuracy and that the tone feels right.
Remember that obituaries are often read by many generations. Strive for a tone that feels respectful, warm, and timeless. Even when humor is included, it should always come from love and familiarity.

Step 9: Choose Where to Publish

Decide whether to publish the obituary in a local newspaper, on a funeral home website, or through an online memorial platform. Many families also share the obituary on social media to reach a wider audience.
Newspapers typically charge by the line or word, so concise writing is important. Online memorials often allow more space and photos, providing an opportunity to share additional stories and memories.

Step 10: Use Professional Obituary Help if Needed

If you’re struggling to put the words together, professional obituary help can make the process easier. Many funeral homes, writing services, and online platforms offer templates or personalized writing assistance. Working with someone experienced in obituary writing can ensure that your loved one’s story is told clearly and beautifully.
Professional obituary help can be especially useful when you want to strike the right balance between emotion and structure. A writer can help you choose the right tone, organize the information, and include meaningful details without feeling overwhelmed.

Step 11: Capture Their Legacy

Finally, remember that an obituary is not just about announcing a passing—it’s about preserving a legacy. It tells future generations who this person was and how they lived. Including quotes, values, or philosophies that reflect their outlook on life can make your obituary deeply moving.
For example:
“She often said, ‘Kindness costs nothing but means everything.’ Those words guided her life and continue to inspire those who knew her.”
End the obituary on a note of gratitude, peace, or love. For example, “Her family will forever be grateful for the joy and wisdom she brought into their lives.”

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

• Write from the heart: Authenticity resonates more than perfection. Don’t worry about sounding formal—focus on sincerity.
• Keep it organized: Follow a logical flow from birth to passing, then to family, accomplishments, and services.
• Use simple language: Avoid overly complex sentences. Clarity helps readers connect emotionally.
• Be inclusive: Mention close relationships, even if unconventional. Love takes many forms.
• Proofread carefully: Accuracy is key to honoring a life truthfully.

The Comfort of Remembering

Writing an obituary is never easy, but it can be healing. It allows you to reflect on memories, recognize the impact of a loved one’s life, and share that legacy with others. With thoughtful reflection and the right structure, you can create a tribute that feels both personal and lasting.
If you find yourself needing support, don’t hesitate to seek obituary help from professionals or trusted friends. The process of remembering and honoring a loved one is a profound act of love—and one that ensures their story lives on in the hearts of everyone they touched.