Dr. Lee Phillips – SEX & COUPLES THERAPIST
Opens Hamptons Practice
Dr. Lee Phillips, an award-winning psychotherapist and Certified Sex & Couples Therapist (CSCT) with practices in both New York City and Virginia, is bringing his expertise to the Hamptons. He just opened a new office in Watermill. drleephillips.com With over 13 years of experience, Dr. Phillips has built a successful, safe, non-judgmental, sex positive, empathetic, and warm practice, helping his clients achieve their goals using holistic approaches to treat the whole person and not just the symptoms. Dr. Phillips works withand patients with depression, sexual challenges, anxiety disorders, trauma, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, chronic pain, chronic illness, disabilities, and disease. He also works with LGBTQIA populations. Dr. Phillips also offers advice on his Sex & Chronic Illness Podcast to connect with individuals all over the world. podcasts. apple.com
What is a Sex Therapist?
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy; people talk about sexual challenges. These may be lack of desire and arousal, erectile challenges, women experiencing painful intercourse, or those struggling sexually with their partner due to lack of emotional connection. Psychotherapy helps calm the body by restructuring our thoughts, becoming more relaxed during sex, and being able to communicate intimate and sexual needs to one’s partner. Some clients may have fetishes or fantasies that they don’t feel comfortable sharing with other people. “We talk to patients about how to have healthy sex and how to be honest and how to change their behavior through a sex-positive lens, because people have erotic needs,” Dr. Phillips says. “We’’ve normalized a lot in sex therapy and give people a comfortable place to be able to talk about their sexual desires and their issues.”
Sex Positive; Inclusive; Kink-friendly
As a certified sex therapist, Dr. Phillips provides a safe, non-judgmental environment for all types of relationships and all sexualities. Those in non-monogamous, polyamorous, and/or kink relationships are welcome, as are swingers, people of color, and members of the BDSM and LGBTQ + communities. “I’m kink-aware and see a lot of folks that are in different relationship structures, so patients know that they may throw out a term and I’ll know what it means,” he says.
A Nonmonogamy Agreement
He helps couples who may want to open up their relationship to come up with a nonmonogamy agreement. Others may want
to close their relationship back up, – a phenomenon that became more prevalent after Covid hit.
“My thing has always been as long as it’s consensual and you’re protecting yourself, have the sexual freedom that you want to have, because pleasure is our birthright, and it’s something that we all deserve, no matter what that is.”
Dr. Phillips also works with people to help them have different types of sex. “There’s this idea that we have to have intercourse, but no, the skin is the largest sex organ, and the brain is the most important sex organ. So, we have erogenous zones on our bodies that we can explore. There’s a lot of power to touch that can really enhance eroticism,” he says. People can be sexual in different ways. “And that’s really the work that I love doing, because I love when my patients can walk out of my office and say, ‘There’s really nothing wrong with me. I can enjoy pleasure any way that I want to.’”
A Widely Quoted Expert
With his unique background in treating people of all sexualities, genders, and abilities, Dr. Phillips’ expert advice is highly sought after by the media. He has been quoted in Teen Vogue, Men’s Health, The Washington Post’s “The Lily,”, and Bustle. He has been featured on many podcasts focusing on sexuality, including that of internationally renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel.
Specialty: Chronic Illness & Intimacy
“Psychotherapy has become one of the leading treatments for chronic pain, because doctors can prescribe but people need to learn how to regulate their thoughts and their emotions as it relates to their pain,” explains Dr. Phillips. “If they can do that, what the research finds is that they can manage their pain a lot better
He treats patients with cancer, autoimmune disorders, fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis, Lyme disease, and chronic migraine headaches, as well as accident victims with chronic back pain or neck pain. Dr. Phillips is a recognized specialist in treating people with disabilities and chronic illnesses, and neurologists and other medical professionals often refer their patients to him.
When diagnosed with a chronic illness, a person’s life is shattered; it changes, and they eventually reach a resolution phase in which they start to adapt to their new needs as their body has changed. That is where the desire for intimacy may resurface. “They want to be able to reclaim their life again, to be able to have sex. Maybe they can’t have the sex that they used to because they have a lot of pain. So, we work on how do we map that out.”
Divorce & Chronic Illness
An example might be an MS patient who has more energy in the morning, so they may be sexual in the morning where prior to getting sick, they were sexual in the evening. “We talk about how to manage that, and how to support the healthy partner because sometimes they can become their caretaker,” Dr. Phillips explains. That is an important factor, since a high percentage of marriages end in divorce due to chronic illness. “It’s really hard for someone who had a vibrant sex life prior to getting ill because sexuality is definitely a part of our identity.”
